I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
