worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
