Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
