That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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