Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
