i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
