can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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