marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
