the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
