the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
