We won't sleep together?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
