Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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