No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
