the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
