Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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