I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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