Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
