It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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