if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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