Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
