I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
