I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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