I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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