i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
