Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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