4 words: hood of his car
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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