Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
