I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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