Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
