You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
