I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
