Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize