if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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