You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
