Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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