last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
