Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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