so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize