I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
