I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize