ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm too high and old for this...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
