WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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