First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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