All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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