this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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