you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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