I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
