I'm jealous of your bromance
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
