I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
