Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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