i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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