They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
