she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
