now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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