were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
