You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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