David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
