Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
