First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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