but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
