Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
