these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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