If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
worst night to have a conscience
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
