I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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