No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize