I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
