I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize