Screwed.edu
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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