i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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