You made me cry and you don't even care
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
