the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
