No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
